Bi/Pan/Fluid 101

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Transcending Boundaries Introduction to Bisexuality, Pansexuality & Related Identities

By Lisa Jacobs

What is bisexuality/pansexuality?

Bisexuality, pansexuality and other non-monosexual and fluid identities involve the potential to feel sexually attracted to and to engage in sensual or sexual relationships with people of more than one sex or gender. A bi/pan/fluid person may or may not be equally attracted to different sexes, or may be attracted to persons regardless of sex or gender, and the degree of such attractions may vary over time.

Self-perception is the key to a bi/pan/fluid identity. Many people engage in sexual activity with people of more than one sex, yet do not identify as bi/pan/fluid. Likewise, other people engage in sexual relations only with people of one sex, or do not engage in sexual activity at all, yet consider themselves bisexual. There is no behavioral “test” to determine whether or not one is bisexual, pansexual, or any other sexual identity.

What’s the difference between bisexual, pansexual, and other labels?

Good question - it depends who you ask! Bisexual, Pansexual, Fluid, Omnisexual, Sapiosexual, Multisexual, Queer. some people claim multiple labels and use them interchangeably. Others maintain that bisexuality refers only to those attracted to both men and women, whereas pansexuality refers to sexual attraction regardless of a person’s gender. “Fluid” is sometimes used to refer to a sexuality that seems to change with time.

Most organizations use the word “bisexual” to refer to all non-monosexual identities, as it is the most established of all the myriad labels. The most important thing to remember, however, is to respect each person’s individual self-identification, however they define it.

Common myths

They are confused and can’t make up their mind.
They are really gay/lesbian and can’t admit it.
They are really just straight people trying to be trendy.
They can’t be monogamous.
They will always leave someone of the same sex for a partner of the other sex.
They are all promiscuous.
They are just going through a phase.
They can’t be trusted.
They give AIDS to straight women and lesbians.
They can’t really be ‘queer’.
They are attracted to anyone and everyone.
A person has to be equally attracted to men and women to be bisexual.
Bi/pan/fluid people are always available

Biphobia

Biphobia – discrimination against bisexuals, pansexuals and other non-monosexuals based on fear and/or misunderstanding – is a problem specific to bi/pan/fluid people, and exists in both the straight and the gay/lesbian communities. In the past, many of the most biphobic people have been, in fact, gay or lesbian. Because of this, bisexuals have had to struggle for the past thirty years to be included with gays and lesbians in the gay rights movement and the queer community. Many lesbians felt betrayed by bisexual women who ‘slept with the enemy’ and didn’t have the courage to become real lesbians. Many gay men felt that bisexual men were only out for a good time and were not really ‘one of them’. Although this attitude has diminished greatly due to the tireless work of bisexual, pansexual and allied activists, biphobia amongst gay men and lesbians does still exist. In fact, a good portion of bi/pan/fluid activism is actually still aimed at educating the gay and lesbian community.

Examples of biphobia:

bisexual pride flag

Assuming that everyone one meets is either heterosexual or homosexual.
Supporting and understanding a bi/pan/fluid identity because you identified "that way" before you came to your "real"
lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.
Assuming a bi/pan/fluid person would want to fulfill one’s sexual fantasies or curiosities.
Using the terms "phase" or "stage" or "confused" or "fence-sitter" or "bisexual" or "ac/dc" or "switchhitter" as slurs or in an accusatory way.
Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
Thinking that bi/pan/fluid people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual/pansexual friend about their lover only when that lover is the same sex/gender.
Expecting bi/pan/fluid activists and organizers to minimize their issues and to prioritize the visibility of "lesbian and/or gay" issues.
Avoiding mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual/pansexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.

Invisibility

Our society tends to assume everyone is heterosexual until proven homosexual. Two people in an other-sex relationship are assumed to be straight; two people in a same-sex relationship are assumed to be gay/lesbian. The truth is, however, that a person in either of these relationships could be bisexual/pansexual, and this possibility is rarely recognized in general society.

Bi/pan/fluid people are constantly rendered invisible by the very language often used to describe non-heterosexual people – “gay and lesbian”. Implicit in this language is the idea that anyone attracted to members of the same sex are either gay or lesbian. Since “gay and lesbian” is the standard term to use in mainstream media, bisexuals and other non-monosexuals are rendered invisible almost every time samesex loving (“gay”) issues are mentioned. The frequent use of the term “gay marriage” serves as an example.

Bisexuals/pansexuals are frequently rendered invisible in history as well. Historical figures known to have had same-sex intimate relationships are usually portrayed as gay or lesbian, when in fact many had intimate relationships with persons of various genders. By taking the gay/straight dichotomy in which our society believes and applying it to historical figures, bisexuality has become obscured not only in the present, but in the past.

Kinsey scale

The Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person's sexual orientation using a scale from zero to six, zero meaning exclusively heterosexual, six meaning exclusively homosexual, and one to five being bisexual to one degree or another. Today, many see the Kinsey scale as overly simplistic, suggesting that sexual orientation and sexual identity are more complex and varied. Still, many bisexuals use the Kinsey scale to describe the idea of sexuality as a spectrum or continuum, rather than a set of categories.

Internet Resources