Many asexual people start out experiencing a sense of alienation around sexuality. They do not understand why their friends fixate on sex, and they find sexual acts dull or uncomfortable. because our society delivers negative messages about people who are uninterested in or unable to have sex, some asexual people feel broken.  

Can sexual people have sex?

Yes. Asexuality is different from celibacy, an asexual can have sex and still be asexual in much the same way that a lesbian can have sex with a man and still be a lesbian. This is a complicated issue and generally occurs in romantic relationships between sexual and asexual people. Many successful sexual/asexual relationships do not involve sex, and in those that do sex often plays a different role than it would in a relationship between two sexual people.

Physically, most asexual people are capable of experiencing sexual arousal. Some asexual people describe this arousal as “not attached to anything.” It exists but is not associated with the desire to have sex with a partner. Some asexual people masturbate.

Can asexual people fall in love?

Emotional intimacy is complex and multi-faceted, and the ways that asexual people find it are complicated and diverse. Each asexual person must explore intimate relationships on her, his, or hir own terms.  Yes. Love and sex are different things, and asexual people are as capable of experiencing love as anyone else. For many asexual people, love happens in romantic partnerships which rely on powerful nonsexual ways to express intimacy. For other asexual people love happens primarily in close friendships,in community ties, or in relationships with self.

How can I be supportive of asexual people? 

Asexual people often struggle with a “sexual imperative”: The assumption that everyone needs sex to be happy. Sexual people who are allies of the asexual community can be supportive by calling out and questioning this assumption, and by celebrating fulfillment through nonsexual intimacy alongside celebrations of sexuality. Sexual allies can continue to openly discuss and celebrate their sexuality so long as they create safe spaces for asexual people to do the same.

Asexuality Community from Wikipedia

Asexuality (also known as nonsexuality), in its broadest sense, is the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of interest in and desire for sex.

Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation. One commonly cited study placed the incidence rate of asexuality at 1%.

Asexuality is distinct from abstention from sexual activity and from  celibacy, which are behavioral; the latter is usually, but not always, for a religious reason. (For instance, sexual people in relationships with asexuals may become celibate as a result.) A sexual orientation, unlike a behavior, is definitionally "enduring". Some asexuals do have sex, despite lacking a desire for it.Dr. Elizabeth Abbot, author of A History of Celibacy, acknowledges a difference between asexuality and celibacy and posits that there has always been an asexual element in the population but that asexual people kept a low profile. However, in the 21st century the anonymity of online communication and general popularity of social networking online has facilitated the formation of a community built around a common asexual identity.

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) was founded in 2001 by David Jay with two primary goals: to create public acceptance and discussion of asexuality and to facilitate the growth of an asexual community. Since that time, it has grown to host the world’s largest online asexual community, serving as an informational resource and meeting place for people who are asexual and questioning, their friends and families, academic researchers, and the press. The network has additional satellite communities in ten languages. Members of AVEN have been involved in media coverage spanning television, print, and radio and participate in lectures, conferences, and Pride events around the world.

Internet Resources

• Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) - http://www.asexuailty.org
• Asexual Explorations: promoting the academic study of asexuality - http://www.asexualexplorations.net/
• Asexuality on LiveJournal - http://community.livejournal.com/asexuality